


roadtripped

by sugas



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: & ushijima is kinda questionable, Again, M/M, bokuto and kuroo fuck up, everyone protects Kenma, roadtrip au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 08:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9877247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugas/pseuds/sugas
Summary: Kuroo and Bokuto make a sex tape, by accident. Daichi just tries to be helpful. Kenma needs to be protected from dick by mail and five ex volleyball captains make a road trip to do so.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is roughly based on the movie 'road trip', kinda rolled with the concept. Enjoy!

Kuroo wasn’t aware he was officially ending his peaceful week when he pressed the record button on his camera. Bokuto was seated behind him in his bed with a shit eating grin on his face. Moving backwards Kuroo sat down next to him on the bed. 

“Dude,” Kuroo looked at Bokuto.

“Brooooooo!” Bokuto responded. 

“This might be the best idea we’ve ever had,” Kuroo said while handing Bokuto his pillow. “Here, rest you head on this and keep your eyes open.” 

Bokuto lied down on Kuroo’s bed while Kuroo stood up to rummage around his room. 

“Kenma, you won’t believe what we found out today!” Kuroo spoke to the camera while picking a bottle of alcohol from his desk. 

“Apparently you can get drunk through your eyes!” Bokuto finished for him. Bokuto rambled on to the camera while Kuroo grabbed a bottle of vodka and sat back down next to Bokuto. 

Kuroo had a drawer filled with cheap USB’s from which he mailed one to the other side of the country each week. On a weekly basis he’d make a video for Kenma to keep him updated on his life at college. He knew he could call too but he enjoyed doing this and he was pretty sure Kenma liked receiving the videos in the mail. This week’s video was a lot of Kuroo walking around campus filming random things and was about to end with Kuroo and Bokuto potentially blinding themselves. 

Coming back to business Kuroo uncapped the bottle and pushed Bokuto back down on his bed. His friend was looking up at the ceiling, tapping his fingers on the sheets. 

“Are you aware there’s a crack there?” Bokuto asked, pointing at the ceiling. 

“Oh, yeah, guess what happened?” Kuroo grinned. 

Bokuto frowned, “you nutted too hard and hit the ceiling, cracking it?” 

“Well no, I- wait, do you think that’s possible?” 

“Eh, maybe you could!” 

“Might take some effort,” Kuroo retorted, a playful smile tugging at his lips while he moved the bottle closer to Bokuto. He could feel a slight blush on his face. Being like this with Bokuto always made him feeling a sort of way. For a moment they looked each other in the eye before Bokuto grinned up to him and pulled at his hips, making Kuroo straddle him. 

“Dude, I beg you, think about Kenma,” Kuroo whispered. 

“Bro, think about my eyes!” Bokuto was eyeing the bottle that was edging dangerously close to his face. 

“Stop calling me bro while I’m sitting on your dick.” Kuroo grinned, he might have to edit this video before he send it to Kenma but he was enjoying himself way too much to stop this. 

“You started it!” Bokuto’s hands settled on Kuroo’s thighs. 

Kuroo felt his stomach jitter. Bokuto had always been touchy feely but this felt intimate. His hands burning right through Kuroo’s sweatpants. He could feel a blush way more obvious creep onto his face. 

Bokuto lifted one of his hands from Kuroo’s thighs to grab his wrist and guide it to his face. 

“Keep me still, don’t spill on my face,” he grinned at Kuroo. Kuroo let his thumb slide over to Bokuto’s cheek to the corner of his mouth. It wasn’t like they hadn’t kissed before. It had never been a weird thing between them. Sometimes at parties when they were both drunk they made out, because that’s what bros do. 

This felt different though, neither of them was drunk yet and there were no other people in the room. Playful talking was one thing but this wasnt the same. Bokuto must feel the tension between them too, right? It made Kuroo nervously avert his eyes from Bokuto’s. It wasn’t really a matter they had discussed before. It was a matter they should probably discuss. It was a matter Kuroo wouldn’t mind not discussing if that meant he got to make out with Bokuto. 

And that was exactly what happened. Bokuto tugged softly at Kuroo’s hair until Kuroo looked at him. “No good luck kiss? I could die you know, this could be dangerous!” Bokuto’s confidence in the situation made Kuroo smile at him while he leaned down to meet Bokuto mid air. 

Right before their mouths reached each other Kuroo stopped. “I honestly don’t understand how you ever get laid, you’ve got no game.” Bokuto let out a laugh before reaching up further and gave Kuroo the kiss he had been waiting for. 

Both Kuroo and Bokuto smiled into the kiss. Kissing each other had never felt awkward. That probably had to do with the fact that they had been pissed beyond rational thought the first couple of times it had happened. Bokuto had once told him he enjoyed kissing him and they had left it at that. 

Kuroo slowly stretched his arm so he could put the bottle on the floor, careful not to break their kiss or spill anything on his floor. That could wait, he had more important matters to attend to. Pulling his arm back he trailed Bokuto’s sides, softly humming into their kiss. Bokuto’s unwavering confidence in the situation made feel Kuroo giddy and he couldn’t stop a smile from forming on his face. He could feel Bokuto return his smile while he cupped Kuroo’s face with one hand, guiding him into a deeper kiss. This felt good, it was good. 

 

The morning after all that, while Kuroo struggled to put on his jeans and shirt at the same time, Daichi took a sip of his coffee. “You know, if you woke up earlier than fifteen minutes before your class starts this might not happen every morning,” Daichi pointed out, slowly stretching his arms. 

“No, fuck you.” Kuroo let out a high pitched yelp when he tripped over his own feet. Daichi pulled up his eyebrow while handing Kuroo some breakfast he could eat on his way to class. 

“I take that back, you’re ama- SHIT!” 

“No, no, finish what you were saying there,” Daichi suggested, but Kuroo wasn’t listening to him anymore. Kuroo had a yellow envelope in his hands. “You forgot to mail it didn’t you?” This exact thing happened every other week, Daichi knew what was coming next. 

“Dude, help a bro out,” Kuroo pleaded. Daichi was already waving at him. 

“I know, I know, you go and hurry to class I’ve got it.”

Kuroo cheered, pumping one fist in the air, nearly creating another crack in the ceiling. “You absolute lifesaver!” Five seconds later he had left the dorm, storming outside to make it to class in time. 

Daichi sighed once that whirlwind that was his roommate had left the room. He took his time enjoying his coffee before he got up to collect Kuroo’s mail. He liked what Kuroo did for Kenma, in a way it reminded him of Suga. He couldn’t help but smile fondly at himself while he found the USB and put it in the yellow envelope Kuroo had thrown on his desk. 

Kuroo hurried his way to class, just a couple minutes late, nothing no one wasn’t used to from him by now. He sat down to take some notes but all he could think about was Bokuto and yesterday afternoon. 

 

A couple of hours later class had ended, life was good and his dick was out. Kuroo didn’t have much to complain to be honest. Daichi was off studying somewhere on a friday afternoon, like the good student he was. Kuroo was going to enjoy having their dorm for himself and he knew exactly how he was going to do that. 

The content him and Bokuto had created on accident yesterday afternoon had gone on a spare USB for slightly more private use. Kuroo had a lot of them, might as well use them for some other purposes as well. 

Kuroo considered for a moment if he should feel bad about it. Probably not, knowing Bokuto he would have been in his exact position hours ago. 

To be sure he shot his friend message

4:18 PM, You:  
Can I beat It to us?

4:20 PM, BROkuto:  
id be O F F EENDED if u didnt

Well, that was settled then. Kuroo opened his laptop and opened the file, the fap file. The screen loaded for a couple seconds before the black got replaced with a moving screen. Kuroo was faced with himself walking over campus, greeting Kenma. “You’re not going to believe what just happened!” Screen-Kuroo spoke to real-life-Kuroo. While Screen-Kuroo rambled on real-life-Kuroo slowly started to pale. He quickly sped up the video, the screen went to a recording of Kuroo and Daichi having lunch. This was not right. 

Kuroo went through the entire 25 minutes of content before making a noise, a soft whimper. With shaky hands he reached for his phone, dialing Daichi’s phone number as soon as the screen lit up. 

A couple of seconds went by before Daichi picked up. “I told you I’m in the library!” Daich hissed through the line. 

Kuroo tried to hum in understanding but it came out as a high squeak. 

The other line of the phone went silent for a moment before Daichi spoke again, this time louder. “I’m outside, what’s going on?” he sounded worried.

“Yah, eh, hey, so, thing is!” Kuroo tried to find words. “You don’t happen to have mailed my stuff today, right?” 

“Of course I have, I told you I would. What’s this about Kuroo?” Daichi used his captain voice.

Kuroo cleared his throat before speaking. “I think you might have mailed Kenma the wrong thing…” Kuroo trailed off.

Daichi was silent for a moment. “How wrong exactly?” 

“Like, I-might-have-sent-my-best-friend-a-home-made-amature-sextape wrong,” Kuroo said in one breath. 

The line stayed quiet longer this time. “Daichi, you still there?” 

“No,” Daichi responded. “You’re joking right now, right?”

Kuroo let out a long noise. “How I wish I was,” he threw one arm in the air, almost slapping his screen. 

“Oh, shit, this is my fault oh my god.” 

“No, no, no blaming you! But I do need your help fixing this mess, please.” 

“Uh okay, how did this even happen?” Daichi seemed to slowly come to senses, already taking control of the situation, exactly what Kuroo had called for. 

“Well, so yesterday right-” Kuroo began before Daichi cut him off. “I don’t need to know that how! How did I get the wrong thing? No, scratch that too, can we get it back?!” Daichi’s voice became louder with every question he asked. 

“I don’t know! Fuck! We can try! You’re closer to the post office, can you go there? I’ll call Bokuto,” Kuroo reasoned.

“What could you possibly need Bokuto for?!” 

“He’s on the…”

“Ohmygod,” with that Daichi hung up, leaving Kuroo in a silent room. 

Kuroo stared at himself in the reflection of his laptop. He had fucked up, so, so bad. He pulled a face at himself. If Daichi was on his way to the post office he would call Bokuto. 

Without wasting any more time he called. After three times trying Bokuto answered the phone. 

“Sorry, I lost my phone and couldn’t find it!” Bokuto yelled through the line directly after picking up. 

“Dude, we have a problem.”

“Yes! I can’t find my party shoes. You know, the ones with the glitter!” 

“A more important problem than that.”

“Thin ice, bro, thin ice.” 

Kuroo sighed. “Lemme explain.”

Bokuto grunted in response. “Okay, fine, I’m listening.” 

“So, you remember what we did yesterday right?” before Kuroo could say anymore Bokuto whooped in the speaker. “You also remember how that accidentally got on camera? And how we saved it separately?” 

“Yeah!” Kuroo could hear Bokuto’s grin through the line. 

“So, okay, this morning, right? I was running late so I asked Daichi to mail my stuff to Kenma.” Kuroo paused before uttering the last part. “To come to the point, Daichi mailed that exact video to Kenma this morning.” 

Bokuto wheezed, “Dude!” 

“Bo, I wish I was kidding.” 

Reality seemed to dawn on Bokuto. “Oh shit, you’re serious?! Our dicks are on there!” 

“Don’t I know…” Kuroo had started walking around his room, rummaging through the stuff on his desk, hoping he would magically find it and this situation wouldn’t be happening. 

“Can you get it back?” Bokuto tried to reason. Kuroo knew he was freaking out. They were both remembering the one time Kuroo had accidentally sent a dickpic to Kenma. It had been bad and this would be so, so much worse. 

“Daichi is on his way to the post office right now,” Kuroo explained. 

“Okay, okay!” Bokuto regained some hope. “They could still have it and boom, all good, nothing happened!”

Kuroo smiled at his friend’s confidence. “Maybe you’re right, Daichi should be back in about twenty, wanna come over?” 

Twenty minutes later a restless Bokuto was sitting on Kuroo’s bed, across from him a slightly pale Daichi sat on his own bed. Kuroo lying face first on the floor in between the beds. 

“I am so fucked,” Kuroo emphasised every word even though they came out muffled. 

Neither Bokuto nor Daichi could deny it. 

Daichi had just, minutes before, come back to the dorm to tell them that the mail was already on it’s way to Kenma, across the country, it was official now.

After a moment of sitting in silence Daichi spoke up. “Maybe you should just call Kenma, you can ask him to not open the mail?” 

Kuroo snorted in response. “And what do I say when he asks why?” 

“That you want to spare him dick?” Bokuto offered. 

“It can’t hurt to call him! It’s better if he knows up front.” 

“Gotta admit, bro. He’s right.” Even Bokuto agreed on the matter, there really was no way out now then.

Kuroo reached under his bed for his phone, pushing aside some socks. “If anyone is going to break his soul it’ll be me.” 

Bokuto and Daichi agreed, assholes. 

Kuroo dialed the number while Bokuto and Daichi got comfortable, anticipating. 

“Okay, fuck here we go,” Kuroo breathed. The phone rung a couple of times, Kuroo nervously fiddled with his phone against his cheek. Warning your best friend for your dick in the mail wasn’t something he had thought he’d be doing when he woke up this morning. 

“Yes?” Kenma sounded on the other end of the line. Bokuto bit into Kuroo’s covers, Daichi had a serious look on his face while Kuroo nervously smiled and put his hand in his hair. 

“Kenma!” Kuroo stopped talking when Kenma softly started talking into the phone again. After a few times nodding he asked: “For how long?” Kenma responded and Kuroo hummed in the phone. After a short while they said their goodbyes and Kuroo turned to the other two. 

“He’s at home.” 

Daichi was the first one to respond. “He’s at home, so he’s not…” 

“Guys,” Bokuto pitched in. “I think we might need a car.” 

“You can’t be serious!” Kuroo yelped, Daichi shot Bokuto a questioning look. 

Bokuto got up from the covers he had just crawled under. “Look, you want to get it back?” 

“Of course.” 

“When is Kenma going back to school?” Bokuto questioned

“He’ll arrive monday afternoon.” Kuroo had layed back down again, facing the ceiling.  
“So, counting pee breaks it a 20 hour drive!” Bokuto was already getting up from the bed, putting on his socks he had pulled off before. 

“I’m coming along! We have no volleyball this weekend and honestly it’s kinda my fault.” Daichi shrugged his shoulders, looking at Kuroo. 

“Dude, no one is blaming you!” Kuroo told him, Bokuto responded agreeingly. 

“But you can still come along!” Bokuto was busy putting food from Kuroo’s place in a bag, that mainly being cookies. 

“I’m coming along. Let me make some phone calls and… we’re going to need a car, a plan too.” 

“Ah,” Bokuto threw his hands in the air. “The voice of reason! Luckily for you I know a guy.” He ended his sentence sinisterly. Neither Kuroo nor Daichi wanted to know who this guy was. 

A couple of minutes later and the plan was going. Kuroo couldn’t believe they’d be driving across the country to retrieve Kenma’s mail before he could. If one thing, Kuroo could need a drink right now. Bokuto, though, wouldn’t let him. He was tugging at Kuroo to keep moving. 

That’s how they worked. Kuroo was always there to catch Bokuto. But then sometimes he wasn’t, at those times Bokuto stood strong and collected Kuroo until he was sure his friend was okay again. This was one of those times. Bokuto getting a confused Kuroo something to eat for dinner, telling him everything really wasn’t that bad and in a matter of days they’d be back. This was going to be fun even, he promised Kuroo. 

Kuroo smiled at his friend. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten into this shit. He knew Bokuto remembered the last incident too. They couldn’t have a repeat of that, ever. And this promised to be so, so much worse. Kuroo was glad he had Bokuto at his side. And apparently not only Bokuto but also Daichi. Thing’s had been weird at first when they found out they shared a dorm but they had figured things out pretty quickly and soon enough Daichi had become part of his routine. 

Now the three of them we’re leaving first thing in the morning, that if Bokuto succeeded getting a car from his guy. 

It took exactly eight hours for Bokuto to fix the car. Of those Kuroo spend an hour eating, an hour showering and six hours sleeping and was ready to go. 

“Everyone packed?” Daichi asked while walking towards the parking lot. 

Bokuto held up his plastic bag which contained a pair of underwear and a toothbrush. Daichi looked slightly worried but let it slide. 

“So, which car is it?” Kuroo asked, looking over the rows of cars in front of him. 

Bokuto looked around for a moment and then made a happy sound. “That one!” he pointed to a car not far from them, a tall figure beside it. 

Bokuto walked in front of them, one hand in the pocket of his floral shorts, happily whistling a tune. 

Daichi murmured something to himself, Kuroo shot him a questioning look but he shook his head. Both of them hoisting their bags to where Bokuto was now greeting the person who was probably his guy. 

When Kuroo and Daichi came closer to the other two the guy shot Daichi a look, squinting his eyes at him. Kuroo heard Daichi softly curse under his breath. 

“You!” the guy exclaimed, dramatically throwing his arms up in the air. His hair swooshing around his face. 

“Hello, Oikawa, good to see you too,” Daichi sounded tired. Kuroo thought the name sounded vaguely familiar. 

“Hmpf,” he nudged Bokuto. “You didn’t tell me he’d be coming!” 

Bokuto clapped Oikawa on the back, making him cough. “And you didn’t tell me you were still holding on to high school grudges!” 

Kuroo approvingly nodded at Bokuto’s response and quietly gave him a high-five. 

Oikawa grunted and opened the driver’s seat, climbing behind the seat of his white Mercedes. 

Daichi spluttered while Kuroo let out a long 'eeeeeeh?' 

“Okay so, he wanted to come along,” Bokuto sheepishly explained, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Oh my god,” Daichi exhaled. Kuroo had never seen Daichi respond to anyone like that. If anything, this promised to be interesting. 

Before they could continue speaking Oikawa opened the window of his white Mercedes and stuck his head out of it. “YOOHOO! Are you coming? I heard we don’t have all the time!” He winked at Kuroo and rolled the window up again. 

“He’s got a point! No time to worry let’s go.” Kuroo tried opening the trunk but it wouldn’t move, after a couple of times trying to open it he gave up and took his bag with him to the back seat where Daichi was already sitting, awkwardly staring out of the window. Kuroo thanked Oikawa for his help while putting his bag between his legs.

Bokuto was already having an animated conversation with Oikawa so he didn’t hear him, both motioning a lot with their hands. Oikawa being able to combine that with driving the car out of the parking lot and onto the road. 

Kuroo saw his chance and nudged Daichi. “What do you know this guy from?” he whispered. 

“Volleyball,” was Daichi’s response. 

Then it clicked for Kuroo, of course it was! He couldn’t believe he had Oikawa Tooru sitting before him. Four ex-captains on their way across Japan, this sure was their luck. Kuroo wasn’t even going to question what Bokuto knew Oikawa from. He just stared out of the window longing for twentyfour hours ago, when he was still blissfully enjoying having gotten off with Bokuto. How things had changed, and at what a pace.

A couple of hours passed, Bokuto and Kuroo managed to eat almost all the food they had packed while Daichi attempted to make some awkward conversation with Oikawa, it didn’t go very well. 

“So, you still play volleyball?”

“No.”

“Oh, why’s that?”

“Because.”

“I didn’t know you went to school here too,”

“Okay.”

“What do you major in?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, that’s… nice.”

Bokuto snorted and choked on his chips while Kuroo gave Daichi an encouraging pat on his back. 

After four hours of driving a weird sound came from behind Kuroo. He frowned and turned around. 

“Did anyone else hear that noise?” Daichi asked.

Kuroo nodded, if anything was wrong with the car they were so screwed. 

“I didn’t hear anything!” Bokuto came from the front seat. 

“That’s your fault for keeping singing ‘hey soul sister’,” Daichi grumbled. 

“Can’t hear you over my soul sister!” Bokuto screamed while turning up the radio. Oikawa slapped his hand and turned it down again. “I heard it too,” he said. “Do I need to stop the car?” 

“No, nothing seems to be wrong, I think” Kuroo informed the driver. Before he could turn around again another bang came from the back of the car. 

Daichi’s eyes narrowed. “Hit me if I’m being crazy, but I think it might be coming from the trunk.” 

Oikawa tried to reach behind his seat and tried to hit Daichi but Bokuto grabbed his wrist and placed his hand on the wheel again. 

“Fine! I’ll stop the car at the gas station we're nearing.” Oikawa rolled his eyes. Kuroo and Bokuto exchanged a look in the side mirror. Kuroo reached forward to rub Bokuto’s shoulder, drawing circles of his muscle while Oikawa manoeuvred the car into an empty spot. 

Bokuto jumped out of the car and ran to the back. He wiggled with the trunk but it didn’t open. 

The other three got out of the car too and watched as Oikawa slammed his fist onto the left side of the trunk and then opened the handle. 

Slowly he lifted it. The first thing they saw was a volleyball shoe, it connected to a leg. Bokuto yelped and grabbed Kuroo’s shirt while Kuroo attempted grab Bokuto’s hand. 

Daichi stepped closer and opened the trunk in one swift motion, sliding it out of Oikawa’s still hands. 

“Is that what I think it is?!” Oikawa’s voice sounded high pitched and he eyebrows had disappeared behind his fringe. 

“You mean… who?” Bokuto asked.

“Ushijima Wakatoshi.” 

“Jesus fuck.”

**Author's Note:**

> ... I don't know either man


End file.
